The number one question I get asked in all of my workshops, webinars and coaching is:

How do I say NO?

In this section I'm going to share some of my best experiences with you. Since we're working with burnout and burnout is caused mostly by a too heavy workload, we need to start with your workload.

Know your workload

The first step is to really know your workload.

What are you doing everyday?

Make a list of everything you did yesterday and today. It's a good idea to track your activities for the next 2 - 3 days if you are not sure what you are doing that's keeping you so busy. It will also provide insight into how much time you are spending on certain tasks.

When I did this a few years ago, I realised that I spent between 30 - 60 mins everyday having to organize lift clubs for my kids to get them to and from school. That's close to 5 hours a week, 20 hours a month. Imagine how crazy that is! Not to mention helping with getting homework done, planning for the week ahead, sorting out drama because someone forgot about a school project or outing.

I also noticed that I spent way to much time in business "helping" for free. There were a lot of "let's catch up over coffee" that turned into free advice sessions, and that's one thing I cut down on significantly. I added up all these "non-billable hours" and realised that I was spending close to 40 hours a month on activities that I wasn't billing for. That translates to a week's worth of work I could have billed. I became a lot more savvy with how I spent my time. I started saying no.

If you are in a corporate setting, consider whether the tasks on your to do list should actually be done by you. Are they yours to start off with, or did you volunteer to do it?

Are you taking on responsibilities that are actually someone elses?

I see a lot of leaders taking on projects or tasks that are way outside of their area of responsibility and then they end up not delivering on their core KPA's and KPI's. You are always going to be assessed/evaluated on your core KPA's regardless of the number of other "special projects" you take on - don't lose sight of that. Resist the urge to say yes to projects you don't have time for.

If you are a high achiever, people are probably looking at you most of the time to get things done, because they believe "If you want something done, give it to a busy person." That person does not have to be you. Delegate. Delegate. Delegate.

How do you say No with grace and ease?

NO - is a full sentence.

Make friends with the word no. Where most women make the mistake in saying No, is that they go into a long justification about why they are saying NO. Then the other person starts to "reorganise your time" and before you know it, you've changed your mind and said yes to something you didn't want to do in the first place.

Resist the urge to justify your NO.

An easy way to say NO is: "I don't have capacity at present to assist you with that."

Or

"I have conflicting commitments at present."

And then leave it at that.

They don't have to know why. You might be having your hair done or going for a massage or doing something completely unrelated to work. And when you say no, you now can free up the time to go have your hair done or go for that massage!

7 Day say NO challenge

I challenge you to not take on any new tasks/activities for the next 7 days. Say NO to every request. Try it out, see how it feels.

You can even use the wording: "I'm working with a coach right now, who has asked me to say no to requests for the next 7 days as I commit to focusing on my productivity."

What if someone at work is asking you for something?

Your response could go something like this:

"I'm over committed at present and won't be able to assist you with that. John, Jane or Pete might be better positioned to assist you."

You did two things here: You said No gracefully and you provided direction as to where they could go ask for help.

You could also shorten your response to: "I'm not the right person to assist you with this."

If you can't say NO, at least delay and ask for more time.

Being someone with a overdeveloped sense of urgency, I've realised that my sense of urgency is not the same as some of my clients'. I've learned the hard way that when some says something is urgent, we may have very different interpretations of what that actually means.

Over the years I've started asking these questions that have helped me tremendously:

• "When is the absolute latest you need this?"
• "How important is it to get this done by then?"
• "With all the commitments I already have, I'll be able to give this to you by.......date." (Always add in another day or at least a couple of hours extra even if you know you can work faster - that's how you create space so things aren't always so frantic.)
• "In order to get this done by that date, I'll need additional resources in the form of (money, two extra team members, quick process approvals, fast authorisation, whatever else you need to get the job done)

In one instance I remember a client asking for something "urgent" and then only needing it a month later - not urgent in my book!